Writing Your Personal Mission Statement

Dear Souls & Hearts Member,

Did you know that non-Christian mental health professionals frequently criticize the Catholic Church for setting high ideals (e.g. “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect”) but not helping people with practical, step-by-step ways to meet those high ideals, leaving them to twist in the wind, particularly in the domain of human formation?  In other words, the Church is seen as heavy on the aspirational ends, and light on the in-the-trenches means of how to achieve those ends, especially in the natural realm.

And I think there more than a grain of truth in the criticism, especially when it comes to human formation.  We have the wisdom on centuries to guide us in spiritual formation.  You can see, for example, the detailed rules of many religious orders.  But in human formation?  Not so much.

In fact, the 2022 document Program for Priestly Formation Sixth Edition from the USCCB, which “sets forth the nature and mission of the ministerial priesthood, norms for the admission and formation of candidates, and norms for the governance and administration of seminaries” in its 195 pages devotes a mere three paragraphs [§§ 222-224] to “Resources for Human Formation,” with no specific recommendations.

Instead, we find generalities such as “The rector together with the coordinator of human formation should make provision for psychological and counseling services” and bromides such as “The community of formators should provide the guidance and direction necessary to help seminarians meet the challenge of emotional and psychosexual growth.”  And we read a brief discussion of therapy which the USCCB authors note can be helpful, but in the next breath, they forbid long-term therapy for seminarians.

I don’t expect the USCCB’s bishops to be experts in human formation.  I do not expect the bishops to be on the cutting edge of all the secular and spiritual fields that inform good human formation – how could they be?  That is not their wheelhouse.  And many of the bishops were ordained before the Pope John Paul II described it as the “basis of all priestly formation” in 1992 in Pastores Dabo Vobis.

Rather than curse the darkness, let’s light a candle.  Providing solid, practical, workable human formation resources to Catholics is what Souls and Hearts sets out to correct, through all the means at our disposal.

Getting ready

Before setting pencil to paper and starting your first draft of your personal mission statement, it might be helpful to review the reflections from January 13, 2025 Your personal mission statement: Who, what, where, when, and why? and January 27, 2025  Your parts and your personal mission to help you get oriented to the task.

Also, please note that I am discussing writing mission statements through a parts and systems lens – if you are unfamiliar with parts, the innermost self, systems thinking, and other elements of Internal Family Systems and other parts-based approaches to understanding internal experience grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person, I encourage to you to check out episodes 157, 158, and 159 of the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast for an introduction.

Also, you might not complete a draft of your personal mission statement in the first attempt.  As Stephen Covey notes in his booklet “Developing a personal mission statement is profound and deep work. Get perspective. Take time and be patient. Give yourself several weeks, perhaps even months. You’ve got to pay the price.” [pp. 14-15]

Keeping to the task of mission

One thing I noticed in many of the sources on personal mission statement writing is how they also bring in vision and values to the mission statement, rendering the mission statement very long, unwieldy, and hard to memorize.  And example is from Roger Merrill, in chapter 4 of Covey’s booklet:

“I will approach my life in a thoughtful and intelligent manner. I will treat people with compassion, kindness, and fairness. I will approach each day with energy, creativity, and humor. I will not forget to relax. I will keep the dance of delight in my life. I will not work too hard, and I will give time to literature and life. My Family Role: I will conduct myself in family life in a matter that enriches our home by my presence. My family will be happy when I’m home. I will be a leader to my extended family. My Work: I will influence people with example, in walking my talk, in principle-centered living. My Role As a Citizen of the World: I hold the following principles: By the Grace of God; Forgiveness; Empowering Others; Growing a Garden of Empowerment; Diversity of Race and Culture Is a Gift; I will sustain life in physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual areas. To forgive myself more, and get on with doing good work.” [p. 32]

This seems quite overmuch to me, with all kinds of vision, values, mission, role, and other elements crammed in.  Let’s make ours simpler.

Let’s break out the vision into a vision statement, following the guidance in the August 12, 2024 reflection Writing your personal vision statement as a Catholic. And let’s put the values in a values statement, following the guidance in the November 25, 2024 reflection Writing your personal values statement as a Catholic.

Remember, the mission statement focuses on the means by which you will live out your vision, informed by your values.  Your mission focuses on the “how” of your journey toward your perfected future self in your shining city on the hill.  Rather than focusing on the future, as your vision statement does, your mission statement focuses on the immediate present, the “now.”

And I also ask you to remember that you discover your mission statement, that you find it – you do not create it or determine it.  For us Catholics, a personal mission is a gift from God.  Again, I liken our mission statement to our boots on the ground – we’re on an adventure to find the boots that are perfectly fitted to us by exploring all that’s available to us in God’s Boot Emporium (see the drawing above) and inviting Him and any other spiritual confidants we have to help us find the mission that fits us best right now.

As a final note, let’s embrace how messy and challenging writing a personal mission statement can be.  In his guest chapter in Covey’s booklet, Roger Merrill gives three reasons why people delay writing their personal mission statements, summarized below:

1. People sense that writing a personal mission statement is a big project, will be demanding if done properly
2. No one makes you write a personal mission statement; no deadlines are imposed by “external forces,” so procrastination is easy
3. The gap between our ideals, our deepest values, our vision, and what we actually do makes us uncomfortable; there can be an effort to avoid feeling guilty, inadequate, ashamed

I would also add that considering parts in drafting a mission statement adds considerable complexity, as with their limited vision, parts not harmonize immediately around a particular mission.

But, as G. K. Chesterton wrote in 1910, “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”

So if you are still with me and ready to start, you are already further on articulating a personal mission statement than 98% of people (my rough estimate).  Let’s get started.

Steps in writing a personal mission statement

Below is a summary of the steps in writing your personal mission statement.  Remember to take what is useful to you, and that writing a mission statement is an iterative process – you may go back and forth among the steps in a way that is helpful to you.  We can tighten the laces on our boots, or replace them altogether.  We may need to get an entirely new pair of boots as we transition to a new phase of life.

Here are the steps I offer you in writing a personal missions statement:

1. Pray for wisdom and guidance
2. Connect with your parts
3. Review your personal vision statement
4. Review your personal values statement
5. Write down your vocation and your duties of state
6. Write down a list of your closest relationships
7. Write down a list of your key roles
8. Reconnect with your parts
9. Use a template to write a first draft
10. Check in with how the current draft lands with your parts
11. Bring the current draft to God in prayer
12. Practice living your mission statement draft
13. Share your mission statement
14. Go through these steps again to revise your personal mission statement.

Let’s go through the steps one by one.

1. Pray for wisdom and guidance

We start with prayer.  Pray for wisdom and guidance in discovering your mission statement at the outset and throughout the process of writing your mission statement.  This is the most important step, as you ask God to reveal your mission to you, to inspire and guide you through the entire process of writing your mission statement.  We are asking God to show us the boots he has for us.

It is helpful if you can engage in conversation with God about your mission – a personal, relational prayer, not just declaring an intention for guidance, and not actively listening for a response.

2. Connect with your parts

Connect with your parts in a parts check-in to see which parts are present in the mission statement writing process.  See if each part you can access can tell you about his or her take on the process  of writing your mission statement, the steps you are going through.  We are not yet discussing the content of your statement – that comes later in Step 9.  It can be helpful to write the responses of your parts down.  See if it is possible to maintain a “straddle” between staying connected with the parts who are available for connection in your system and the rest of the steps in the mission statement writing process.

If you’d like more experience with working your parts, I provide structured experiential exercises in episodes 93, 100, 102, 104, 106, 108, 110, 111, 117, and 121 of the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast.

3. Review your personal vision statement

In this step, you review a written copy of your personal vision statement and keep the written words handy for reference and inspiration.  See what comes to you on the “how” of living to which you are called – different ideas may come from different parts.  Reviewing your personal vision statement is like looking through your telescope at your shining city on the hill and at who you will be when you are perfected by God.  You might make a few notes at this step from different parts and your innermost self as well.  Again, check out the reflection from August 12, 2024 titled Writing your personal vision statement as a Catholic and the recording of the online workshop titled Writing your Personal Vision Statement for guidance on writing a vision statement, with examples.

4. Review your personal values statement

In this step, review a written copy of your personal values statement – your personal values are your lantern to guide your feet on the path to your shining city on the hill.  Your values will serve as guardrails so that the means – the how – of your mission statement stays on track.  Parts will have different perspectives on what is important; it can help to write down what they offer you in a parts journal.

If it’s helpful, you can review the reflection from November 25, 2024 titled  Writing your personal values statement as a Catholic and the recording of the online workshop titled Writing your Personal Values Statement for practical help with writing your personal values statement.

5. Write down your vocation and your duties of state

Writing down your vocation, your state in life, and your primary duties of state may sound unnecessary,  but I encourage you to do it. What are your obligations given your state in life?  These will be different in many respects for a married woman with children, a single college student, a novice in a contemplative religious order, and a widower with adult children who live some distance away.  This may require some careful consideration and some consultation with someone wise if you are not clear on what your duties of state are.  Members of religious communities will be informed of many of their duties by their rule.

6. Write down a list of your closest relationships

In writing down a list of your closest “neighbors,” you will start with your spouse if you are married.  Children come next.

The saying “Charity begins at home”  is generally understood to me that you should take care of your family and other people who live close to you before helping people who are living farther away or in another country.”  We are looking at the list of people whom you are particularly called to love.

7. Write down a list of your key roles

In this step, write down a list of the key roles related to your duties of state and your closest relationships, you nearest neighbors.  For example, a religious sister might be the precentrix in her monastery, directing the sisters in the choir.  A college co-ed has his or her role as a student.  In a family, parents may have roles as homemaker or primary breadwinner, among others.

8. Reconnect with your parts

In this step, reconnect with your parts, letting them know you are open and available to listen to them as you immerse yourself in the primary materials that inform your mission statement in the previous steps.

9. Use a template to write a first draft

Sometimes it can help to use the following template to craft a first draft of a mission statement.  Here’s the basic form:

I will [action] for [my closest relationship] by [specific means] to [desired outcome for neighbor / offering to God / moving toward the vision].

There is no obligation to be rigid in following a script.  Stephen Covey, in his booklet wrote that Robert Louis Stevenson’s mission statement was, “To make upon the whole a family happier for my presence.”

Other examples of first drafts of mission statements for those in different walks of life could be:

• For the mother of a family who is working on attunement with her husband and children: “I will listen attentively to my husband and children without interrupting them so that I can understand them and love them more deeply, setting aside specific time for each one each day.”
• For a religious novice who struggles with scrupulosity: “I will follow my community’s rule for the love of God, focusing on the spirit of the rule and my relationships with God and neighbor it fosters, and find ways to delight in my brothers.”
• For a 32-year-old single professional woman: “I will pray a holy hour each day, continuing to discern my vocation in the knowledge that I am a beloved little daughter of God, and I will bring warmth, kindness, and humor to my coworkers and subordinates.”
• For a 45-year-old husband and father of five recovering from an excessive focus on career advancement: “I commit to loving my wife in her preferred love languages of time and service, sacrificing professional, worldly success for deeper intimacy with her and our children so that they have an experience of fatherly love that reflects the love of God the Father.”

10. Check in with how the current draft lands with your parts

If you haven’t already, once you have a draft, go through it word by word with each of your parts who is available.  See what suggestions come up within you.  Again, there is no race to finish your mission statement, and it is important that all the parts available in conscious awareness agree with the statement, to lessen the likelihood of internal rebellion against it.

11. Bring the current draft to God in prayer

On a regular basis, deliberately bring your draft of the personal mission statement to God in prayer, asking for His will to be done.  Remember, you are discovering the mission that God had for you before you were born, before time began.  You are in the process of trying on and fitting your boots among different options, not being your own bootmaker.

12. Practice living your mission statement draft

At this point, you endeavor to live out the draft of your mission statement, with an eye to what is working about it and what might not be.  In the crucible of real life, in the daily walk with your personal cross, you will find ways to refine and tune your statement.

13. Share your mission statement

Sharing your mission statement allows you to receive feedback from others who know you well; God may choose to speak through those near to you, to give you feedback on your statement.  Sharing your mission statement draft with a receptive listener can also spark new ideas and inspirations within your own system.  Sharing your mission statement can also provide motivation to continue the process and increase a sense of accountability.

14. Repeat these steps as needed

Remember, this is an iterative process, so you are free to go through the steps repeatedly, varying the order, in any way that is helpful to you.  You can add new steps as well.

Alternative ways to write a mission statement. 

Stephen Covey provided this list of questions on page 38 of his booklet – some of these may be helpful in the process.

• “What is truly important in my life?
• What would I really like to be and do in my life?
• What are my greatest strengths?
• What are my talents, possibilities, and true potential?
• If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I do?
• What are my deepest priorities?
• Which relationships do I wish to be lasting?
• Who is the one person who has made the greatest positive impact in my life?
• What must I do, and how must I manage my life, to constantly nurture these vital relationships?
• What kind of person do I wish to become?
• What are the principles I would like to live by?
• What have been my happiest moments?
• How do I want to be remembered?
• And, finally, how can I serve others in a meaningful way throughout my life?”

FranklinCovey has put together a “Mission Statement Builder” which brings in these themes and asks for short answers for a series of short questions.  This may be helpful for some, but it does ask for some personal information that will likely be used in marketing efforts, so be forewarned.

Coming up next…

Tomorrow, February 11, 2025 from 8:00 PM to 9:00 PM Eastern time, I am hosting a Zoom workshop for those interested in writing their own personal mission statements, going through the process, with lots of time for questions and discussion.  If you are not on my email list, get in touch with me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com and send me your email, or text me at 317.567.9594.

In the next reflection, I will share with you my personal mission statement, and my process for how I wrote it, as an example, to close our series on personal mission statements.

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The Resilient Catholics Community is open now for applications

During three months each year (February, June, and October), the Resilient Catholics Community reopens for new members in a new cohort.

Are you interested in loving your own parts better so that you can love your neighbor in his or her parts better?  The RCC is all about removing the natural-level obstacles in your human formation that keep you from flourishing in the three great loves within the two Great Commandments – loving God, your neighbor and yourself.

Working on your vision, values, and mission statements is so much easier when your parts are under the leadership of your innermost self – when that happens, you are in such a better place to follow our Lord wholeheartedly.

The RCC provides a step-by-step, structured year-long program to walk you through connecting with your parts in love.  The RCC is informed by Internal Family Systems and solidly grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person. You’ll begin by taking the PartsFinder Pro, which is designed to help you identify 10-15 of your parts, and their interrelationships inside of you – check out these downloadable PDF sample reports for a man and a woman.  And we have our 19-minute experiential exercise to help you discern about applying to the RCC.

We have testimonials on our RCC landing page.  But they also pop up in other places, such as this video YouTube from Matt, the “Quiet Catholic.”  Matt discusses Internal Family Systems starting at about the 4:40 mark, and from 9:50 to 13:50 he shares his experience during his year in the RCC – what he learned, the relationships he developed, and also experiencing in new ways his identity as a beloved son of God — check out the video here.  Thanks, Matt!

The Formation for Formator Community

Any Catholic who individually accompanies others in formation is a “formator”  — counselors, coaches, lay spiritual directors, priests, and others.

So often, the greatest obstacle to deeply connecting with those we accompany is within our own hearts – unresolved conflicts among our parts.  When formators lose a sense of peace, when they become agitated, when those they accompany get under their skin one way or another – what’s happening is that the unresolved issues of the formator are being activated.  No one whom they accompany can rob a formator of his or her peace and sense of well-being.

Formators need to work through their own human formation issues, in order to more effectively be able to accompany others over similar ground.  And you need to love yourself before you can deeply love anyone else, as Dr. Peter explains in this reflection.

We are now registering formators for our Spring 2025 Foundations Experiential Groups. No previous IFS training is necessary to participate in FEGs. Check out our informational meeting from last week on video or audio for the answers to so many questions.

New and advanced groups start March of 2025; groups are either full or filling. Put a deposit down now to hold your seat.  Find out more here and go here for registration and for the days, times, and the leaders of each group.

Conversation Hours

I’d like to connect with you!  You are invited to call me on my cell (317.567.9594) any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM to discuss anything in these semimonthly reflections or in the IIC podcast, or to discuss our communities, the RCC and the FFF.

Pray for us

All the good we do in Souls and Hearts is fueled by prayer.  Please pray for us.  We have some amazing initiatives we are taking on this year – new offerings, two of them will be treasure troves of resources for our members.

Warm regards in Christ and His Mother,

Dr. Peter