Dear Souls and Hearts member,
When I was six years old as a first grader in September 1975, Diana Ross released a number one hit song that imprinted itself on my mind, raising in me large existential questions for such a young lad. It was the “Theme from Mahogany”, a Motown/Paramount film, and the first two stanzas ask the questions we are addressing in our next series of these semi-monthly reflections:
Do you know where you’re going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Where are you going to?
Do you know?
Do you get what you’re hoping for?
When you look behind you, there’s no open doors —
What are you hoping for?
Do you know?
I liked the song because it asked questions, like I asked questions. And it didn’t just lecture at me or tell me the answer. I answered the questions pretty readily as follows: I was going to the second grade (assuming everything went well in first). Life was pretty good. I didn’t notice any closed doors behind me, I didn’t have a lot of life regrets at age of six, I wasn’t seeking to get back to some distant “golden era” of my life.
But this song stayed with me over the last 49 years, and for many in my generation, the questions become haunting. “Where are you going to?”
[In full disclosure and as an aside, later in life, the dangling participle “to” at the end did begin to bother me a little.]
I am asking you – where are you going? Do you know? What is your guiding star, what is you compass, what is your map, what are your trail markers?
Themes of vision, mission, and values to guide our lives feel daunting to many people, including devout Catholics. Typical avoidant responses from Catholics include:
- A lack of confidence in writing good, clear statements of vision, mission, and values
- Offering vague generalized statements that are unhelpful in guiding our lives
- Escaping from the accountability that precise statements of vision, mission, and values highlight
- Not knowing where to begin, and so never beginning
- Allowing the busyness of life to draw you along, and not stopping to do the fundamental work of laying out a deliberate goal and path to that goal because there are “other things to do.”
- Spiritualizing the work by stating offering spiritually bypassing platitudes such as “The Holy Spirit will guide me”
The result of avoiding being clear on vision, mission, and values is that we can easily get lost. And if we are not heading in the right direction, we won’t make it to our destination. As Lao Tzu said, “If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” And Archbishop Fulton Sheen put a fine point on it: “If you do not live what you believe, you will end up believing what you live.”
But, if instead we actively and deliberately discern our mission, vision, and values, we are taking a first step to engaging and carrying out God’s will for us – starting out on the journey of living the grand adventure that God has chosen for us.
My hope is that you don’t miss out on that. That you don’t look back decades down the road and see just closed doors, but that you’ve walked on the water toward our Lord, not minding the wind and the waves.
Solutions and guidance
Over the last few months, I have been going through the process of writing not only my own personal statements, but also the guiding statements of vision, mission, and purpose for Souls and Hearts as an organization, and I am happy to share what I’ve learned with you.
In the next few semi-monthly reflections, I will walk you through writing your own personal vision, mission, and values statements. With clear guidance and some commitment, you can do this, step by step.
What is a vision statement?
So let’s break these three statements down. What is a vision statement? Let’s get a precise definition to understand more clearly the work we are undertaking.
Definition: A personal vision statement is your expression of the future state of who you seek to become, who you are called to be in the future.
A vision statement describes a destination. It is future-focused. It summarizes your mental picture of your future perfected self in your imagination. It describes your “who” – the person you want to become. Your vision statement is your orienting star – like the Star of Bethlehem for the wise men of the East, who with single-mindedness of purpose followed the star. Vision statements are short, only one sentence, just a few words.
And for Catholics, your envisioned, future you implies not only a final state of being, but a state of “being with,” in relationship with God. And we explore much more about vision statements, how to write one, and examples of visions statements in my next semi-monthly reflection, which comes out on August 12, 2024.
What is a mission statement?
A mission statement differs considerably from a vision statement. Instead of focusing on who you will become and be with (your end state), the mission focuses on your means to get there – the how of becoming your envisioned future you, a you in relationship with God.
Definition: A personal mission statement is your expression of the means you will use in the present to realize your personal vision in the future.
Your mission statement focuses not on the future (like your vision statement does), but rather on the present, what you are called to do now to realize your future vision. Mission statements that are clear and precise lay out guidance for how to follow the star – they are your maps and compass. Mission statements are generally longer and more detailed than vision statements.
Where you are in your life trajectory, your duties of state, and your vocation all have a major impact on your mission, so your mission statement will likely change over time as the specific means that you are to use change. More on this in the semi-monthly reflection that releases on August 26, 2024.
What is a values statement?
Definition: A personal values statement is a delineation of a small set of three to seven core, vital, and unchanging principles that define who your best self is – and that guide you toward who you want to be by clearly naming what you most cherish.
Your values statement defines who you are, not at your destination, but on the journey. Your values are your treasures. They are whatever is “precious” to you – as Gollum valued the ring. They are what motivate and move you – or at least what should motivate and move you.
Our Lord Jesus Christ told us, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” [Matthew 6:19-21].
Your values statement helps you to create a system around and within you that fosters those deliberately chosen values and that eliminates or at least minimizes anything that runs counter to your values in your process of becoming. I will share much more on this in the September 9, 2024, reflection.
Integration of these statements
Do you know where you’re going to? These three distinct but related statements work together in an integrated way to answer the question – the vision statement is your guiding star, the glowing city on the hill to which you make your pilgrimage, setting the overarching destination. The mission statement lays out the specific path, giving guidance to the “how” of making the journey. And the values statement brings in what motivates and moves you, letting you know what to bring on the journey and what to leave behind.
But there is another kind of integration to consider – interior integration.
It is so common for one or two, sometimes three manager parts of a person to get enthusiastic about these vision, mission, and values statements and to attempt to write them in isolation, disconnect from the innermost self and the other parts. Parts not in right relationship with the innermost self will reify their goals and agendas into the vision and mission of a person, respectively, and in their narrow field of understanding, pursue their goals and agendas in ways that harm oneself and others, violating core values. So being clear on our core values in a specific values statement helps to keep us from sliding into ends justifying the means.
I will be including some experiential exercises in the upcoming series of reflections to help you approach writing your vision, mission, and values statements in more integrated way that is best for all your parts, and for everyone else as well.
Getting ready
So how can you get ready to join me in writing your own vision, mission, and values statements over the next three weeks? Here are some practical guidelines:
- Pray for wisdom and guidance in this process of discernment. Entrust the work of developing your statements into the hand of Jesus and Mary. Start by asking if God wills that you engage in this adventure at this time and listen for His response. If His response seems to be yes, then
- Set aside very specific times to work on the statements – time to read the next reflections carefully, to do the audio experiential exercise, and to draft the first statements. Schedule these times in your calendar after each of the next three reflections come out in August 12, 26, and September 9, 2024.
- Reflect on having patience with yourself and your process, to see if any parts of you who are critical, pessimistic, or discouraging might be able to give your innermost self more space to lead and guide this process.
- Reflect on how “the best is the enemy of the good” in this process and ask perfectionistic parts to give you space.
- To tell at least one other person you are embarking on this particular adventure – and better yet, to find a buddy who will journey with you and write his or her own statements as well, checking in with you about progress, the two of you encouraging each other and holding each other accountable.
- And to have confidence that God loves you and wills what is best for you in this process.
Staying in touch in the challenge
If you do decide to engage in this whole adventure, let me know – email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com and in the subject line, put “Vision, mission, and values” to cue me. I will be back in touch with you if you let me know you’re engaging, and I will pray for you individually by name. That’s how committed I am to having people do this challenge. So, {{first_name}}, are you up for joining me?
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New Interior Integration for Catholics podcast episode – Dr. Peter does his own work
Episode 142 of the IIC podcast released last week, titled Your Story and Your Personal Formation released last Monday. The video is here, and the audio here.
In this, I share some dark moments of my story of medical trauma from when I was 11 years old in 1980 with Kathryn Wessling and Gabriel Crawford from Catholic Story Groups at CatholicStoryGroups.com. Discover the power of exploring stories. Join me for this episode to discover how essential story is to your personal formation. We first discuss what a story is, review tips for writing your story, and offer recommendations for listening to a story well.
Next week
Next week is a fifth Wednesday, so we won’t have an email for you, as our staff takes a bit of a break.
Ways to join us on the pilgrimage
If you are interested in parts and systems approaches to human formation and you want connection and community in the journey, check out the Resilient Catholics Community, which will reopen for new applications on October 1. Our landing page gives lots of details and the opportunity to get on our interest list.
If you are a therapist, coach, spiritual director, priest, or formator who works to accompany other individually and you release you would benefit from better human formation yourself, informed by IFS and grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person, check out the Formation for Formators Community on our landing page. New Foundations Experiential Group will start in late August and early September.
Pray for us
Please pray for Souls and Hearts as we have our upcoming staff retreat in early August – we will be discussing the vision, mission, and values of Souls and Hearts at that retreat. And the RCC retreat is August 8-11 – please pray for the 55 members of the Resilient Catholics Community who will be with us on our third annual retreat.
Warm regards in Christ and His Mother,
Dr. Peter